You stare at the girl sitting all by herself in the corner in the café. She is so comfortable with herself. Stuck in between the music playing in the background and the book she tightly clutches. She doesn’t even look up when you pass by. Infact she is so comfortable she doesn’t move an inch. It disturbs you.
You stare at the girl who gazes of into the sunset. The one who doesn’t even know she is being looked at. You see the golden rays of dusk illuminating every feature of her not-so-perfect body. You wonder what is wrong with her.
You catch her staring at the wall behind you. You turn. It’s a white wall. Not a speck on it. Not even a goddamned fly. Double-take. Her forehead crunches up, her eyes are far far away. You bring her back and ask her what she is thinking. She says nothing. But she knows its not nothing.
And then you feel sorry for her. You wonder – maybe she is a loner. No- Maybe she just had a rough patch with her lover. All these silly conclusions about her in your head! And then you say a mental prayer hoping you never end up like her.
Why is society so hell-bent on terming loneliness as a disease? When did wanting to be alone become so wrong? Is it because the culture we all come from isn’t used to individuality? Or is it because we are so used to being around people, that when we are alone, it just feels wrong.
Don’t get me wrong – We all need connection. Humans are biologically wired to need Love, Validation and belonging. And it’s no secret our species could never exist alone.
But it’s time we learned to embrace our individuality. Alone-ness has a great healing power. It can heal everything – from a broken heart to a broken spirit.
Don’t always be swayed into togetherness. That’s what sheep do. Not sane minded humans. It’s okay not to want to share a drink with the rest of the gang. Its okay not to want to hang out with a ton-load of people just sitting around together, because well, sitting alone is a taboo. It’s okay once in a while.
The occasional choice to be alone will nudge you into places you would never enter alone. It will make you sit on the park bench in the afternoon with nobody to talk to, not even a book to read. It will help you sip your coffee lost in the written word of another world. It will show you the myriad colors of the sunset. It will make you wonder who else is staring at the same full moon continents away.
So do away with the discomfort, and allow yourself to appreciate the being of the self once in a while. Let yourself be overcome with the power and freedom, and confidence in being yourself.
Remember, It doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with you. It doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with your life. Sometimes you just need the space to soul search. To recover. To think. To just BE. You don’t need to apologize for taking or needing this space.
It’s okay to be alone darling.
x X x