It’s Okay To Want To Be Alone.

You stare at the girl sitting all by herself in the corner in the café. She is so comfortable with herself. Stuck in between the music playing in the background and the book she tightly clutches. She doesn’t even look up when you pass by. Infact she is so comfortable she doesn’t move an inch. It disturbs you.

You stare at the girl who gazes of into the sunset. The one who doesn’t even know she is being looked at. You see the golden rays of dusk illuminating every feature of her not-so-perfect body. You wonder what is wrong with her.

You catch her staring at the wall behind you. You turn. It’s a white wall. Not a speck on it. Not even a goddamned fly. Double-take. Her forehead crunches up, her eyes are far far away. You bring her back and ask her what she is thinking. She says nothing.  But she knows its not nothing.

And then you feel sorry for her. You wonder – maybe she is a loner.  No- Maybe she just had a rough patch with her lover. All these silly conclusions about her in your head! And then you say a mental prayer hoping you never end up like her.

Why?

Why is society so hell-bent on terming loneliness as a disease? When did wanting to be alone become so wrong? Is it because the culture we all come from isn’t used to individuality? Or is it because we are so used to being around people, that when we are alone, it just feels wrong.

Don’t get me wrong – We all need connection. Humans are biologically wired to need Love, Validation and belonging. And it’s no secret our species could never exist alone.

But it’s time we learned to embrace our individuality. Alone-ness has a great healing power. It can heal everything – from a broken heart to a broken spirit.

Don’t always be swayed into togetherness. That’s what sheep do. Not sane minded humans. It’s okay not to want to share a drink with the rest of the gang. Its okay not to want to hang out with a ton-load of people just sitting around together, because well, sitting alone is a taboo. It’s okay once in a while.

The occasional choice to be alone will nudge you into places you would never enter alone. It will make you sit on the park bench in the afternoon with nobody to talk to, not even a book to read. It will help you sip your coffee lost in the written word of another world. It will show you the myriad colors of the sunset. It will make you wonder who else is staring at the same full moon continents away.

So do away with the discomfort, and allow yourself to appreciate the being of the self once in a while. Let yourself be overcome with the power and freedom, and confidence in being yourself.

Remember, It doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with you. It doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with your life. Sometimes you just need the space to soul search. To recover. To think. To just BE. You don’t need to apologize for taking or needing this space.

It’s okay to be alone darling.

IMG_3779.JPG

Enter a caption

x X x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Secret Garden

Secrets. A word so deep. A word so heavy you could topple over with the weight.

Funny how, sometimes we keep the deepest things so secret. Tucked under layers of skin, twirled amidst the vessels and nerves that lay deep within. But truth be told, it makes you feel so alone inside, that your deepest wish is for someone to know your secret being, because then you are no longer alone. But that we rarely do.

Everyone wants more than anything to be allowed into someone else’s most secret self. Everyone wants to allow someone into their most secret self. Yet when it’s offered it’s scary, because you might not live up to the desires of the person who let you in. And frightening because you know that being let in means you’ll perhaps be expected to offer a similar gift in return. Which means giving your self away. And what’s more frightening than that? Well,more than that is letting yourself be let in but closing your own doors and not opening thy self to the other.

Secrets are a choice. I rest my case.

secret gardenToday found me at a beautiful place.

A Secret Garden.

A place so vibrant, so comforting yet perched amidst utter silence. Built around a tree, with huge footstones set in a panoramic garden.

A garden with yellow daisies and pebbled sidewalks. A garden bringing out a perfect environment to share a secret. A perfect place to let another in – A secret Garden.

daisies     garden-pebbles

 

“He’d kept this silence because his own secrets were darker, more hidden, and because he believed that his secrets had created hers.” Kim Edwards.

Until you find your very own secret garden, until you manage to find your secret keeper, may your secret lie in absolute safety..x x